we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
