I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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