I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
