So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
