BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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