so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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