I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
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