Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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