There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
