Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize