If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
