3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
