the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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