butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
