so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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