How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
