I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize