Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
