Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
