would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
