"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
