For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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