So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize