Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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