Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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