i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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