We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She needs sedatives and a leash
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
