Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
