For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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