I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im holly from the hills drunk
She's like a pop up book from hell.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize