Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
