Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
