I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
