Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
