what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
