was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
