What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
