you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
