I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Do vagina's smell?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
