All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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