Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
