all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
