I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
