i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
