Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
