I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize