The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
