You really coming over, don't trick.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
