Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
