farters have to be the big spoon...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
