im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize