God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
