glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
