I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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