I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
