Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
