is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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