i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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