so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize