Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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